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Let me catch up

May 26, 2015

LWT Let me catch up

Earlier last month I sat in a conference room, with a coffee urn bubbling away in the background and freshly baked biscuits on the table, along with a bunch of other parents, teachers and my mother while we discussed masturbation.

If that sentence seems confronting, you should have been in the room.

There was a purpose to this; it wasn’t my idea of a fun was to pass a Thursday night. Instead we were there to learn about sexuality and puberty in adolescents with Autism. Which in and of itself is a pretty big idea to get your head around and the 35-odd slide Powerpoint presentation did little to dull the pain.

I know we have to have these conversations. I know it’s time. In fact according to the slides, we’re late. We should have started almost two years ago. Poss is certainly on the threshold of that next phase; we’ve grown her through her baby years, dragged her through her toddler years and we’ve all survived childhood. Next up is the teen years.

After all these other stages of parenting her, this is the one that scares me the most.

And it’s not because I’m squeamish about talking about masturbation or sex or how to put a condom on a banana, it’s just because I’m so not ready for this next phase. It seems like it was just yesterday she was pushing away from the table, taking her first steps. Now she’s pushing away from us.

I worry that she’ll do just what she did when she started to walk; run hard, fall over and smack her head before getting back up and doing it all over again. However, when she was a toddler, I was able to hold her, wipe away her tears, kiss her forehead and make it better. I’m not sure I can do this for her when it comes to puberty.

I worry that we won’t know how best to help her, how best to support her. Occasionally I can see the glimpses of an amazing woman starting to push through the wrapper of this gangly tween; I know she’s under there. But to keep her safe and make sure she doesn’t break before she even gets there? I don’t know. And it wasn’t in the Powerpoint pack.

I promise to do a more helpful post on this topic shortly; there are books to read, links to look at, ideas to wrap my head around. Endless tips and ideas to help trouble shoot the practical and assist with the hard conversations.

But right now, all I seem to be able to do is watch her while she sleeps; those big long jersey cow lashes resting softly on her cheeks as she breaths softly into the night, wishing I could just stop the clock.

Just for a moment, just a second, to let me catch up.

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This post was originally published on About a Bugg.

Leave a Comment Filed Under: Health, Life Tagged With: Autism, Parenting, Puberty

How to fill a gluten-free Tween

May 16, 2015

IMG_0651

A while back, over at Caro & Co, I wrote about a new brand of Gluten-free Weet-Bix.  To be honest, until we tried them, I thought they’d be foul.  How wrong was I?

So if you have a permanently ravenous Tween, pop over to Caro & Co and consider giving our funky Weet-Bix recipes a go for breakfast, afternoon tea or a late-evening snack.

Easy and delicious!

Caro Webster

 

Leave a Comment Filed Under: Health, Life Tagged With: Gluten free recipes, Weetbix

A letter to my Tweens

May 13, 2015

IMG_0928 My darlings,

As the famous Astronomer Carl Sagan once said, “My wonder button is being pushed all the time.” I think that what he meant by this is that it’s great to be alive because the world is full of wonder and it can be found in the simplest of places.

It’s not necessarily the big things that provide the most happiness. Sure they can provide a sense of satisfaction but are they truly the things you’ll remember as you move through life? I don’t think so.

So when things get tough (and they will), you get sad, feel a little overwhelmed or just plain glum, try hard to think of the following.

When we take the time to look around us, wonder is everywhere. It’s in the smell of the earth after a shower of rain ~ especially when rain is much needed. You can find it in the breath of a newborn baby or if you stick your nose deep into a blooming rose. It’s certainly to be found in the scent of bacon sizzling in the pan on a Sunday morning after a jolly good sleep-in. And believe it or not, it’s also lurking in the smell of lanolin and sheep shit (bad Mama) as you leave the shearing shed after a hard day’s work with Kevin.

You can find it by watching a spider busying herself in her web or seeing the sunlight stream over distant hills. And the stars. Oh the stars! Now they surpass mere wonder and cause a feeling of true amazement as we appreciate the vastness of the place we call home. Remember how we used to lie out on the grass late at night waiting for the next shooting star? Remember how it made you feel?

You can hear it late at night with the thrumming of cicadas and the sound of the ‘thunk thunk’ of the sprinkler. It’s right there in the sound of a newborn lamb bleating for its mother or the sound of your own mother snoring loudly late at night. It’s to be found listening to the early morning sounds of your city waking up.

You can feel it when you get an award at school or when you give your favourite pet a tummy rub. Sometimes it comes when you remember to hand in your homework on time or get the best seat on the bus. It’s definitely there when you help a friend feel happy and safe or make your Dad laugh at your silly fart jokes. It’s eating a hot jam doughnut or a bucket of hot chips on a winter’s day while you cheer on your favourite sporting team. And it’s scoring a goal or try yourself for the first time and having your friends give you crazy high 5s all over the field.

It’s reading a book from cover to cover all by yourself. Don’t you think there’s something deliciously secret and thrilling about that? It’s singing at the top of your voice to 1D or Taylor Swift. In fact, her advice to “shake it off” is a good philosophy to apply to life in general.

By taking the time to appreciate, really appreciate, the small things around you, most times the things that feel big, difficult or sad will vanish away like butter on hot toast. This is my promise to you.

And for me? Life continues to be wondrous. Wondrous because just when I thought I could learn no more, you came along. You shifted my boundaries and gave me renewed opportunity to learn and grow with you and through you. This is your gift to me and it’s the best present I’ve ever received.

All my love,

Mama

Caro Webster

* This post originally appeared on the website Caro & Co.

Leave a Comment Filed Under: Health, Life Tagged With: Tweens and Wonder, Wonder and kids

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    Meet the Life with Tweens team

    Meet the Life with Tweens team

    Kim, Renee and Caro are parents living with a primary-schooler, a handful of Tweens, the odd Teen, seven dogs, six fish, two cats and a fat rabbit. Each day is an adventure, to say the least.

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